Shooting's Fault
by ScaryChick
Summary: I think back and I try to remember when my life got so incredibly screwed. Before the shooting and before Sean left, my life wasn’t this screwed, right" A One-Shot...


I think back and I try to remember when my life got so incredibly fucked up. Before the shooting and before Sean left, my life wasn't this fucked, right?

Spike has taken so many jobs to try to pay some bills on our house, or to even start paying the hospital bills. Snake is doing a lot worse. I'm Jack's mother, now. And even worse, the doctors just told us that the cancer is probably heredity, which means that Jack probably has cancer. He took some tests and my parents are probably reading them over right now.

I sit on a bench in the ravine watching random people get drunk or stoned, and I think back to what I would be doing with Manny and the rest of the girls. Facials. Pedicures. And reading crappy magazines.

How the hell did I trade in Girl-Nights to Ravine-Parties? Why in the world would I change from being friends with Manny to being friends with Jay?

Jay. God, why did he have to come in? I looked to my left and see Jay staring into the bonfire, probably wondering where Alex was.

I look around the ravine and I see Spinner making out with a girl. I could interfere, and probably make Spinner really mad…I start to say something, but Jay says something before me.

"Yo, Spinster!" Jay screams across the ravine. Spinner looks up and flips off Jay. I smirk.

"Let him get back to work," I say rolling my eyes.

"Even now you're still no fun, Greenpeace," Jay said pushing me, playfully.

"I guess that's what a STD does to people, Jay," I say sarcastically.

I get up and walk to another bench without Jay's annoying voice beside me.

I miss Sean. I miss going to Sean's apartment, and eating double cheese pizza, and watching movies on his couch. I miss his touches, and his kisses,

I even miss Chris. God, what I would do to be at a rave and to listen to Chris DJ. I miss how Chris could smile at me and I would feel like I was on top of the world.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as somebody passed me a beer. I look up and see Jay looking at me.

"Thought you could use something," Jay said looking concerned, "I've only been standing here for about 10 minutes."

"Whatever," I say as I take a long gulp.

"What were you thinking about?" Jay asked sitting beside me.

"How my life got so screwed."

"The shooting?" Jay asked. I run my hand through my long blonde hair.

"Probably," I say. I know Jay and Spinner blame themselves. Well, at least I know Spinner blames himself.

"For all its worth, I am sorry about the stupid prank," Jay says looking at the ground.

"The stupid prank isn't what set him off anyway," I say annoyed.

The prank was stupid and immature. I calmed him down after the stupid game show, anyway. If I hadn't turned him away, or if I would have just held my freaking tongue after he kissed me.

"I know. He was a psycho from the beginning, we just helped release the inner Rick," Jay says happy that somebody actually understands.

But I don't understand it the way he says.

"After the prank, I went after Rick. He kissed me and I insulted him. He wouldn't have gotten the gun if I would have just been nicer. The only thing you and Spinner did was encourage him to shoot Jimmy. So while Spinner has been blaming himself, and you have been blaming Rick, I've been blaming myself for the shooting," I say and for some weird reason I feel a lot better. It was the first time I got it all off my chest.

I look at Jay and he looks shocked, but he nods.

"It wasn't your fault," He says.

But it was. It's entirely my fault.

So maybe, that's the answer. My life got fucked up over the shooting. Or maybe that's me, blaming everything on the shooting. The shooting caused Snake's cancer to come back. The shooting caused the ability that Jack could get cancer. The shooting caused my new friends. And more importantly the shooting caused the new me.

Right?

Jay stuck a joint in my face, I look at it for a second, before taking it from him and taking a long hit.

Right. Emma Nelson wouldn't be puffing the dragon if the shooting didn't happen. Right.

**A/N- So…this is my first fanfic on this site….Hopefully it doesn't suck tooo bad. It was a one-shot…Review if you liked it, please. Or review, if you hated it and had some suggestions…Thanks!**


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